stop my heart

when i lived in reading, my family doctor gave me an ekg for no other reason than “we need some baseline[billable] numbers..”. i had been waiting 45 minutes in an empty waiting room and had plenty of time to find my still center.
so the nurse strapped me in and while i was watching the little black pen line bumps, i thought “i wonder if. i can still stop my heart”? and i went flatline for about 20 seconds.. the nurse bumped me when she saw it and brought me back to this reality. she said “humph!! something wrong with the machine!” and she ripped out the flatline paper trail and threw it away.

backstory.
when i was twenty something, i lived at kripalu ashram for three years. we practiced raja yoga and meditated 4 hours a day, two hours in the morning and two hours in the evening, sometime i was able to step aside from myself and watch me. once, i saw my breathing stop. my heart stop. and my brainwaves slow to once every six seconds. i don’t do that anymore.. i think.

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